Friday, 24 August 2012

RFW Challenge 43: Romantic Picnic


 
The night’s starry and fine
Let’s not waste our hours indoors
I’ll lift your mood with mine

 

Wouldn’t you prefer to dine
On the leaf-layered forest floor?
The night’s starry and fine

 

Bread and a bottle of wine
Under canopies of sycamore
I’ll lift your mood with mine

 

The learned poets opine
True lovers need nothing more
The night’s starry and fine

 

There’ll be firefly designs
And moon-shadows to explore
I’ll lift your mood with mine

 

Let our laughter combine
And forget your troubles sore
The night’s starry and fine
I’ll lift your mood with mine



This is my first submission to Romantic Friday Writers.

42 comments:

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    1. Thank you Anne, for visiting and for your comment

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  2. I love poetry and this is just beautiful. very nicely done.

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  3. It is a lovely poem which catches the heart and imagination with its imagery. :-)

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  4. its simple and deep one,i really enjoyed reading,thanks for such share

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    1. Thank you, Radwa..very pleased that you enjoyed it

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  5. Hi Nilanjana, Such a lovely poem, so romantic, lifted my heart. Well done.

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  6. Lovely poem, Nilanjana Rose. The repetition is done nicely and complements the rhythmic aspects. I particularly like 'leaf-layered forest floor.' Nice use of the prompt as well.

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    1. Thank you, Adura Ojo for visiting my blog and the feedback. Appreciate it truly

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  7. Dear Nilanjana,
    Welcome to RFW!
    What a lovely poem you have written for the romantic picnic theme. I agree with Adura. There are some interesting images of the outdoor setting and the repetition emphasises the beautiful night and the romantic feeling between these two.
    Fits the theme. It is a picnic!
    Nicely done. (I never write poems for RFW because I find it too difficult. You have not chosen an easy way of meeting this challenge!)
    Best wishes,
    Anna
    RFW No.43 - 'Romantic Picnic'

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    1. Thank you Anna, for your warm words! But please reconsider - a poem can be the best vehicle for telling a story in low word counts :)

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    2. I used to let my cat write poetry on her blog 'Sara Cat Writes' (http://sarakatt.blogspot.com/). But she wrote about such things as how much she loves mice and how troublesome her younger kitten-siblings are etc. There is greater freedom when you are a cat writing poetry than being a grown up human being!

      http://sarakatt.blogspot.se/2010/10/m-is-for-mousies-mrs-denise-nesbitts.html


      I find word count difficult. It is hard enough to get the structure and content right. I want it to read like a song. I like singable poems.

      Best wishes,
      Anna

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    3. Agree about cats being freer.

      Forgot to add my word count for my entry, but possibly well within 400. Telling a story in a given word count requires superb writing control.

      Look fwd to reading your cat's poems. Thanks for the visit.

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  8. Hi Nilanjana
    Welcome to RFW. Many have said this already but I repeat, lovely poem. I look forward to reading more from you.
    Nancy

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    1. Hi Nancy, and many thanks. A very warm welcome to this blog! Do please check back every Monday for a fresh post.

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  9. Hi,

    Gorgeous piece of poetry in motion. Totally visualised the "leaf-layered forest floor". Lovely, lovely! ;)

    best
    F

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  10. Welcome to RFW. This is beautiful

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  11. For me, the repetitions emphasize the mood being created. A picnic at night sounds romantic. I like this, but can't offer anything constructive as I'm useless at poetry.

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    1. Thank you for reading and your comment. With due respect, somehow I am reminded of - "they also serve who only stand and wait". Nothing is useless, to paraphrase Tagore, the great Indian poet :) Thank you for coming over.

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  12. It´s a wonderful poetry, exquisite metaphores. Nice to read you. kiss Elen

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  13. Hello Nilanjana! Welcome to RFW! What a powerful entry! Loved it.
    Exquisite words and images. I relate to your second line: 'Let's not waste our time indoors...' The weather is super beautiful here in Queensland and the outdoors are calling me from my computer, lol!

    Beautifully crafted throughout with the repetitions underlining the mood of the poem. You hooked me in.

    I hope you'll write for us again. There is a list of upcoming challenges at the RFW site on a previous post.

    Don't forget to come back to RFW if you'd like to vote for your favourite entry this week. Go with your gut. Really should be someone who kept to the word limit and has a romantic element! Poll will go up Monday AEST.

    Thanks for entering! We made our 20 goal!

    Denise

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    1. Thank you so much for all the warmth and kindness, Denise. I have truly enjoyed writing for this challenge, as well as reading the other entries! Look forward to the poll and also the challenges. Thanks again.

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  14. It's so refreshing to read poetry ... very few writers have the heart and SOUL for it. Well done. New follower. I will look so forward to more of you work.


    Michael

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    1. Thank you so much Michael. And a very warm welcome to my blogspot! :) Fresh posts go up Mondays

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  15. A beautiful entry; but the stanza that captured my heart was:
    There’ll be firefly designs
    And moon-shadows to explore
    I’ll lift your mood with mine

    Lovely poetry, and thank you for sharing your vision with RFW this week. Nice to make your acquaintance Nilanjana.

    ........dhole

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    1. Thank you, Donna Hole. Great getting to know you and the others at RFW too! Thanks for the opportunity.

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  16. Lovely verses set the romantic picnic scene well.

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  17. I regret not coming here sooner!! I'm still trying to catch up with all the other entries. This was so very beautiful! I loved the imagery and the romance.. as well as the passion and the starry night.. It was so beautiful!! You did an EXCELLENT job on this!!! Welcome to RFW! I'm glad to see such a wonderful poet!! Take care!!

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    1. Thank you Crystal! Very glad you enjoyed my verses.

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  18. My dear friend,
    I am not surprise to see you shine with such beautiful words. Great job and welcome to RFW!!

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    1. Thank you Andy, for the visit and your friendship.

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