Thursday, 6 September 2012

Romantic Friday Writers Challenge 44




At Romantic Friday Writers Denise Covey and Donna Hole host a cool fortnightly challenge every other Friday.  This entry is for Challenge 44, read more about the challenge here.   You don’t have to be a member of RFW to participate, so go on over there and join in.

 
For the last challenge at RFW, Madeleine did a very interesting entry to illustrate the role of different POVs, which has influenced this post. My thanks to her, and to Denise, Donna and all the supportive community at RFW.

 

I.

You offered up bruised berry lips
in the morning, a small smear of latte
flicked off by a delicate fingertip
but the 8.20 to the city
was about to get away

 

I should have kissed you
taken your mouth in mine
Now a crushed frangipani moue
a quiver of lipline
nag at time

 
 
the work hours subtly cleft
peach and velvet hardly there
brush against the intercept
weird reminders everywhere
around the desk

 

I should have kissed you
brushed first the mystic
corner and then the honeydew
sucked off from bare dawn lips,
drunk in the morning musk

 

Over the city, far in the west
the sky flames coral and brick
a disgruntled sun sets
in shades of yesterday’s stale lipstick,
radiating pinpricks of regret

 

even cars parked in neat rows
streetlight glinting off high glossed
metallic pink curves and furrows
point to the moment that’s been lost
hard to forget

 

I should have kissed you
just once, breathless, slowly slipped
into that heightened oblivion...the train’s late, and anyhow
you’re working the evening shift
you’ll be gone

  

the evening is dark and chill
the house  an ominous silhouette
the shrubs in the garden are stern and still,
details grossly inadequate
and the lonely porch light battles on....   

 
 
II.

 

Skin to skin the entire night
with you as we slept
the curtain cracked with morning light
when you left
and still I ached

 
 
the smell of coffee, rumpled sheets
and men’s cologne
the faint strawberry feel of cheeks
a strong jawbone
in places nicked

 

oh, the rasp of a neatly clipped
bushy moustache
on pulsing, plump yearning lips
and the warmth, the rush....
but the door shuts on a poor bargain

 

I should have kissed you
walked up to you when you didn’t
stop; taken your mouth into
mine, breathed in the musk and mint
there and then

 

there’s still the dent on the pillows
to curl into
the memory of a sensuous, slow,
fragrant night’s languor in lieu
of the man

 

and I relive each touch of your lips
just hours before
from the left ankle to the closed eyelids.
Quiver once more
replaying angel-lace and deep electric,

 

hardly breathe
as I recall
each brush and bite, the slow seep
of fire and ice, the rise and fall
of bodies and souls totally rapt

 

I should have kissed you when I could
but now I’ll wait
till you’re back again in my arms, and it’ll be good
because I’ll have to anticipate
what’s given up in thoughtless haste.

 

WC-419
FCA

 

46 comments:

  1. Awesome awesome awesomest loved it so much beautiful you should win it!

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    1. That is so sweet of you Ramya, thank you! :)

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  2. Nice rhythm. Very clever, I can't write poetry at all!

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    1. I find poetry easier to write than fiction and it's also easier to stick to word limits in poems! Thanks for reading mine.

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  3. Love your poetry, it is so emotive and romantic with the suggestion and hints of a wonderful liaison.

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    1. Thank you for stopping by and the feedback.

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  4. Dear Nilanjana,
    Your poem is beautifully sensuous and philosophical, at the same time.
    Love the rhythm, repetition and variation of your words and images. Wish I had written this! Well done!
    Thank you for visiting and commenting on my post.
    Best wishes,
    Anna
    For the benefit of other readers:
    RFW - I should have kissed you

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  5. oh very nice...sensual but also it probes deeper feeling as well...i like the wishing...maybe regret at not kissing not...and then the making of excuses....this flows really well as well...nice piece...

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  6. Dear Nilanjana,
    Oh my...I need to catch my breath. What can I say...loved this!

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  7. Hi Nilanjana
    I admire poets since I am not one. You expressed all the emotions of the challenge in a pleasant rhythm. Well done.
    Nancy

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    1. Hi Nancy, and thanks for reading and the feedback.

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  8. Hmmmm...Hmmm...hmmm. Andy has said it all. This flows smoothly like ice cream. It would be hard for me to pick out favourite lines. You had me from the first line to the end. Really well done, Nilanjana.

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    1. Really liked being compared to ice cream! Thank you, Adura. Glad you enjoyed the poem.

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  9. Very sensual. I especially liked II.

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  10. Wow! I don't know where to start Nilanjana! LIke Anna, I wish I'd written this. I do 'dabble' in poetry from time to time in an effort to improve my prose, as the best prose uses a lot of poetic techniques. I, like Heather, especially loved 11 - it just seemed more in the moment, stronger. Don't ask me why? There are so many great lines and images - you certainly ticked all the boxes for the prompt!
    Thank you for sharing your beautiful poem with us.
    Denise

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    1. Thank you Denise for the detailed feedback, much appreciated. Perhaps you (and some other readers too) liked II because it is the voice which is reflecting on the past, where the experience actually resides, rather than I, which is focussed on the emptiness of the present, which it must vault over to experience it again. Glad you enjoyed my post, I certainly had great fun writing it.

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  11. I love poetry, wish I were one, but you don't have to wish, you clearly are. That was one of the most beautiful...I've ever read.

    I didn't want it to end, I want to know more. Experience the reunion. Beautiful, simply beautiful.

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    1. Thank you for your warm words....maybe there should be a "reunion" piece...good idea

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  12. This is both sensual and heartfelt. Wonderful poetry.

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  13. You've certainly got a way with words. I love the pictures they paint. Well written.

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    1. Thank you for stopping here and the kind words.

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  14. Hi,

    Beautiful prose and cleverly interpreting both POVs of the missed kiss. Simply lovely! ;)

    best
    F

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    1. Thank you, much appreciated...so glad you enjoyed it

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  15. *loud gasps* I'm speechless! This was bloody brilliant!

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  16. Such a sweet one, poetry and kissing go hand in hand.
    Written like a woman, I liked it a lot :)

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  17. It flows, stops, flows, stops, ...and the end result is breathtakingly beautiful. Try as I may, my words never seem the convey the emotions your does, with that hint of sophistry as well. Really enjoyed this.

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    1. Thanks for coming by, and the feedback is much appreciated

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  18. I so enjoy poetry and this was expertly written.

    Each verse a rare treat!

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    1. Very glad you enjoyed it...thank you for reading!

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  19. OOh this is so nice! The regret, the longing..lovely!
    It did take me while to get into it, but then i haven't read poetry in a while. Once i noticed the pattern it was easy and so evocative!

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  20. Interesting, writing the same morning/day from the his and her perspectives. Way cool.

    .......dhole

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    1. Thank you, Donna, for the feedback. The word limit had a lot of leeway...so I thought why not do two povs instead of one

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  21. A surprise for you on my blog -
    http://janukulkarni.blogspot.in/2012/09/cool-enough-to-grab-award.html

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  22. Hi Nilanjana,
    Congrats on winning FW at RFW. Well deserved. Hope you'll continue to join us:)

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  23. Thank you, Adura...still picking up pieces of my jaw off the floor here :)) There were so many polished entries. Can't figure how it's landed in my lap...but awesome pleased! And somewhere in the next challenges I am going to set my entry in my childhood town :) See you there :)

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  24. Hey, Nil, I just love this poem! No wonder you won, it's brilliant!!

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    1. Noms!!! a real friend's virtual approval is a different kinda kick altogether!!! :) :) thanks...so good to see ya here!!

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Nonymous comments prized more than rubies :) Anonymous comments shall be deleted as soon as spotted. Just so you know.