You come
back and come back and every time
you plaster
yourself flat to the doors and walls,
you snatch
at the silver threads of tramlines,
you clutch at the bricks and stones, the road signs,
but you’re
still separate, not part of the whole
and they
say that you haven’t come back at all.
Half the
people are gone, there’s a new tenant.
The kerb’s
a strange colour, the lamp post’s three pronged,
there’s a swank
new park and a waterfront.
Gone too is
the ice cream shop – your childhood haunt.
All the
places where you seamlessly belonged.
Everything’s
changed. And everyone feels wronged.
Well, it's not rocket science - every time someone leaves his hometown for any substantial span of time, both the home and the town, the people who stay, the person leaving - all change irrevocably, there's no coming back. Not to the people, not to the spaces. And the one who leaves is not the same person who returns. The whole thing is an exercise in expectation management.
But the transition shouldn't be this hard. Kolkata is still reeling from the murder/rape of the young doctor last month. There are on going protests, the involvement of the Central Bureau of Investigation (CBI) to investigate the case ordered by the Calcutta High Court as there were trust issues with the Kolkata Police, there are allegations of evidence tampering against the police and the suspicion that they were shielding the master mind. There are calls for the resignation of the Police Commissioner and the Chief Minister. The Supreme Court of India has taken suo moto cognisance and hearings of that are also on going. The opposition parties are making hay the most of it while the clouds are thick, ordinary citizens are outraged, upset and quite beside themselves. There have been protests for justice across the country and also across the world in solidarity. India has its own equivalent of the George Floyd situation.
Bengal used to be a liberal, progressive state, Kolkata has been voted the safest city for women for three years running, it is beyond shocking how we have come to a situation where a woman is raped and murdered in her own workplace and then there are attempts at a cover up.
It is a living nightmare. It is also an inspiration - the way the junior doctors' front has handled their demands for justice in peaceful and dignified protests. A moment of hope too - an opportunity. To reassess our justice systems, to reassess our own selves and attitudes towards women. I for one am awash with questions. Why do Indians condone everyday misogyny in words and deeds and erupt into worldwide protests only at rape and extreme violence? Why do we turn a blind eye to the rapes/murder of women from the marginalised sections of society and take to the streets demanding justice only for middle class/upper class/educated/urban women? Why is there only episodic outrage and condemnation?
Thank you for reading.
Your questions are mine too. And my heart continues to ache.
ReplyDeleteSeriously disheartening.
DeleteHari Om
ReplyDeleteDitto the questions and heartache... But, sadly, such things are not India's alone. The big online movement headed by the likes of Andrew Tate and his ilk brings out the animal nature of the male of our species. Even among those one would consider "intelligent". The horrible truth is that as long as there is testosterone there will be a division. YAM xx
That's so scary. Impossible to get rid of all testosterone...
DeleteYour situation is beyond that. That woman's family needs justice.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely!
DeleteI still remember that gang murder/rape of the 23 year old woman on a bus a few years ago. How absolutely horrible. And I'm sure there are plenty not heard about. Let's hope justice is done..
ReplyDeleteSo Nila, I'm back online. A nightmare as I've been locked out of most things. Doesn't pay not to open your computer for 4 months!
Just wrote my first post re the Horrorfest! So looking forward to writing for this.
I'm so glad to see you back online! That gangrape in Delhi was 12 years ago - and the slew of changes in the law hasn't been an effective deterrent, unfortunately..
DeleteHi Nila - sadly gaggles of people, cliques, coteries - behave far worse - egging each other on ... so awful. I remember the Delhi incident too ... as you mention above. Appalling - why people want to kill, or maim each other ... I cannot understand. Power - not a good thing in the wrong hands ... take care - Hilary
ReplyDeleteAnd power does seem to be getting in 'wronger' and 'wronger' hands, sadly.
DeleteWhy?
ReplyDeleteThat's always the question for what seems so obvious. Yet, killings, shootings, rape, insidious verbal assaults...why?
Adults, kids, adults who buy guns for kids...why?
Just the general attitude toward women, LBTGQ, and more...why?
And it's people in power who do not set good examples on many levels. Not just your country or the USA...everywhere. Why?
excellent poem, excellent writing. Thanks, as always, for putting it out here.
Utterly baffling and infuriating - the whys. Thanks.
Delete