Privilege

The curtain’s cracked silk, and the dawn comes in

and darkens again. I’m glad I was here

when you sang beyond these windows – anthems -

defiance – profane - that was also a hymn -

though the meanings weren’t immediately clear.

Glory, I guess, and grief too, must be felt

before the seaweed heroes can be seen,

waters and wakes that must be cupped and held -

webs of light and sound, and jet-ski rebels,

before trash flowers float on aquamarine.

The waves tonight are banded with debris

of amber light, the skyline polychrome.

I’m held up by this flimsy balcony

made of words, wood and brick, a tracery

of senses. And the jet-skis have gone home.

Some truly ghastly things happened out in the world since I wrote here last, but the silver linings are still there - except those nothing is permanent. Most changes are reversible, or cyclical, or something like that, takes their edge off. Anyways, everything is maya and moh, all elected leaders serve their time and leave, no matter how hard they might grab at anything. Also  a little shocking the cavalier attitude of certain nations! I mean if Russians have a say in everything, then surely I and my RotW-fellow-citizens should also get our share of voice, no? Someone has started an online petition for just that, 'in-a-fair-world-everyone-should-be-allowed-to-interfere-equally-in-the-US-elections' type of thingy, I am happy to report :) 

Back in India, the PM announced without any notice that a couple of denominations of banknotes would stop being legal tender after Tuesday midnight. Now I live away from ye olde homeland, so you'd expect this would not affect me. Except that I have only those denominations here, and so far not one option has been devised for expat Indians to change their notes back if one is not physically present in the country. My entire pitiful wad of Indian cash will have to be shredded. So I am going to be even more broke than I already am, didn't know that was even possible! Thanks for showing me there's more nuances to being penniless than I had thought, Mr Prime Minister! 

Seriously though, the one irreversible change that affects me the most, is the passing of Leonard Cohen - a poet and songwriter close to my heart since I don't know when. Many of his songs are my comfort blankets, my go-to dose of solace in out-of-control situations (e.g. when some obnoxiously rude, misguided misogynist lost to all sense of decency and what's due to high office might get elected to it halfway across the world. Or when your own PM gets into some weird Cinderellaesque mode, also halfway across the world.)  

Hallelujah, Suzanne, Dance me to the end of love, Everybody knows, no knowing how many times I have listened to them. He's seen me through teenage acne to middle age cash crunch.

Heartbroken, devastated, desolated, anguished, I saw these words circulating freely on social media, but I've no words for the profit and loss this past week. The profit side always seems heavier in my eyes, no matter how many notes stop being legal tender or how dismal the misogyny index of the world. 

All I can say is that I am profoundly grateful that I was here on this planet growing up, and growing old, when Leonard Cohen sang. Some privileged upbringing! 

Another way to return

You still go back panicked, groping the old songs,

blinded in tunnels, to soothe your roughed-up

spirit. The muddy river comes along

in broken down wooden barges, loved up

smooth old piers, worn rusted cranes dipping

their necks into the water, and no-one

comes to greet you, and no-one is gripping

fingers tight in comfort, lifting your burden.

You can hear the sunlight playing, somewhere

on the waters, a cowherd with cattle;

but here it’s just four small, chocolate squares

of light on blank concrete, and static crackle.

The news comes on in the evening, and it’s

floating seaweed, there’s gunfire in the distance

mushrooms of smoke and dust on wizened targets

and faces still lean out, clenched in resistance,

and refugees are portioned, as if we’re

barbecue nations. You don’t know if Suzanne

will show you her harbours, if she’ll let you near

the river’s wavelength, or if she at all, can.

A lot of things top-of-mind today.  First off, I'll be returning to the  A-Z, and no two ways about that. The sign up is today. Not only will I be participating, I am in deeper than previously this year because I am a Ninja Minion on Ninja Captain Alex J Cavanaugh's team. (If I knew the exact emoticon to express the yayness I would totally insert it here. But since I don't, just fill it in yourself)  I am also all signed up to participate in the Colours of Life Poetry Festival scheduled for mid-April, which is a(n offline) poetry event in my local community.

It's the fifth anniversary of the Egyptian Revolution today, so my friends there are very much on my mind too. Hope it goes safe and smooth and that they each get what they wish for in 2016, politically and otherwise.

Anyways, the upshot is - April is going to be a superbly amazing month! Can't-wait-but-also-love-the-waiting-and-working-writing-researching-rehearsing-part emoticon here. 

Have a great week!