Sunday, 10 March 2013

Wanderers







They kick at stones and wonder if they’re right
to think in rhymes that skim crusts and horizons.
The deserts slow step through shafts of moonlight.

 

The sharp edged dunes blur as they climb the heights
and fall back three steps for each uphill one;
they kick at stones and wonder if they’re right.

 

The thorntree grows without a stream in sight,
rocks flex their stripes on bare back mountains,
the deserts slow step through shafts of moonlight.

 

Pinprick flames burn at a distant campsite -
no-one can know who else is on the run;
they kick at stones and wonder if they’re right.

 

Small heaps of fleshless bones on flash calcite;
the kills pile up but the sands hide no weapons,
the deserts slow step through shafts of moonlight.

 

The fox walks with his bushy tail upright
noiselessly on the pitfalls of ant-lions.
They kick at stones and wonder if they’re right;
the deserts slow step through shafts of moonlight.

 

 

Written in response to Poetics at dVerse, but I got a few things  in my head, and followed where they went collectively.  Of course I wanted to do the Mad Lib prompt so I got my words - 2 nouns : stone, tree 3 verbs : walk, kick, fall  3 adjectives : slow, bare, sharp 2 random : tail (tale?), far; and I’ve cheated a little with that last and used distant instead, is that allowed? Anyways.  Then there was the prompt here, which I really, really wanted to do but missed.  And maybe because of IWD and all, the word “Song” just took me straight off to this.  






 

16 comments:

  1. no-one can know who else is on the run;
    they kick at stones and wonder if they’re right....what cool lines and a bit of truth there....also love the elements...like the fox...ant-lions? is that a real thing...very interesting...the bit with the rocks was a bit magical as well...

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    1. Thank you...antlions are real, though I believe the name itself comes from a myth, we used to call them sand lions too as kids...a bug larva that makes conical "dens" in the sand and waits inside for its prey to fall in...called doodlebug in N America, I understand :)

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  2. I can just picture the scene you have so skillfully written. Favorite stanza is the last one...with the fox and his tail upright!

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    1. Thank you. Tiny foxes, large tails, irrestible looking things!

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  3. Far, Distant, hey, it works, dont sweat it. I think its great what you have managed to do with a few random words, I doubt I would be able to pull off a piece like this.
    Its a form I have not really seen before, if it is a form, is it? It works well, but that could just be down to how you craft it together.

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    1. It's a form, loosely interpreted...villanelle...thank you. Sweating poetry is so apt if a little gross :)

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  4. ha..i love the ant-lion...we call it like that as well in germany... ameisenlöwe.. really cool work on the form and a great rhythm to this

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    1. That is amazing! maybe the root lies in the same myth?! thanks for reading.

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  5. I'm so impressed - If it's not hard enough to work set words into a poem and make it seem natural, you do it in a villanelle! This works so well: congratulations!

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    1. Thank you, glad it works n you enjoyed it

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  6. I just so appreciate the flawless rhythm and rhyme of you Villanelle. I keep telling myself I want to try another one. They are such a challenge. Be proud.

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    1. Thanks much for the feedback...am not very good with meters, just like working with rhymes generally..villanelle is a fav cause you sort out two lines and you're half done already :)

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  7. Great execution here of the prompt...like those pinprick flames burning at a distant campsite, thornbirds, and dunes ;)

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  8. That was so pretty and fun to read through -- by the end I was hearing to a tune. It should be a song.

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