Friday, 14 December 2012

I'll show you straight!! Yeah, right!

There was a lovely girl from Waltair
who had very little sense and some flair
for dress, fashion and style;
and one wide, radiant smile
though the occasions she flashed it were rare.


And the reason she remained so grave
she explained to me thus, “The curly wave
looks graceful on the sea,
not-so-charmingly on me
I’m so fed-up of my curls that I could shave.”


“Have you heard the one about the mongrels
with tails impervious to all creams and gels?
Well, that is my sad fate
my hair just won’t go straight
crowning glory is no glory when it rebels.”


“I’ve tried everything, all I could think of
I’ve treated them gentle, and then got tough
it’s just no point, I guess
my waves are quite shameless
they curl back in a sec and don’t give up.


“I’ve powdered beetle wings into a poultice
added both babies’ breath and angles’ kiss,
unmentionable parts of bats
stomach contents of gnats
applied carefully for days. But then, look at this!


“And I’ve stretched my hair out on the rack
for five whole nights steamed them back-to-back,
but when they were unpinned
only the roots had thinned
the rest curled fiercely as soon as they got slack.


"I’ve tried vrischik asana, tied stones to each lock
and I held the pose upright round the clock.
They straightened when down
as soon as I turned around
they frizzed right back. My toes too curled with shock!


"I got special uncurlers from the coiffeuse
hot steel plates that straighten while you snooze.
I slept ramrod straight
but the curls resumed their state
the minute they were off. It’s just no use.


"My ringlets just refuse to lose their ring
as I’ve said before, I’ve tried everything
both normal and insane
but curly is what they remain
Straight sexy is something I can’t seem to swing.”


I tried logic, she said, ”Give me a break
you straight-haired lot don’t get our heartache.
You haven’t got a clue
how it curbs my hair-do!
Don’t say now each one’s a unique snowflake.


“I’ve tried remedies modern and medieval
each and every option left open to a gal
but I’ve been led to think
that this is no ordinary kink
and it requires measures strongly radical.”


The last I heard that curly-haired virgin
stormed into the clinic of an upscale surgeon
and she said, ”Please stop
my head being a curly mop
slice my genes off, or something else merge in.”


I’d tell you the end, but I’m not sure I should
because at this point it gets a little lewd -
limericks are often ripe;
and so sometimes is life.
So dear reader, the story’s for you to conclude.






This entry has been written for a contest,
the link over here will explain it best -
ideas extraordinaire
for straightening curly hair
and this is the tale of curly and distressed.


There are certain tales that must come out
and this one’s of them without a doubt;
if they bubble in the brain
then they become a pain
in the arse and other parts – terrible fallout.


Will this long entry win? And should I care?
Is straight or curly a significant affair?
Between us, one-on-one
I’ll confide it can be fun
to style it diversely, but then, it’s just hair.


So long it’s slick and healthy, tangle-free
and on a head that’s heady as well as happy
it matters not one jot
both curly and straight are hot
what’s one person’s ho-hum is another’s pretty.


And I can tell you that I’ve had the fate
of being born with hair that’s rigidly straight
and I have always wanted
what the others take for granted -
a curl or two would have been just so great!


The truth is that we’re never satisfied.
Just wear our natural hair with care and pride.
Style it straight and flat
wear a braid, or a hat
but it shouldn’t get your knickers in knots tied.


Dear reader, fellow blogger, whoever you are
you’ve come here, and stayed with me, this far
so I must be thanking you
for your patience – and I do
with a sweeping flourish and an “au revoir.”



  1. smiles...i like your sweeping au revoir in the end....smiles...and how fun to tell this in limerick as well...and that you leave it open for us as well...

    1. Thank you! Glad you enjoyed the limericky one :)

  2. Replies
    1. Thanks Madeleine! for the visit and feedback...pleased you liked it!

  3. Just loved this one to bits!!!! All the best!

  4. wOW :-) Really very interesting :-)