How quickly the day passes,
even without you,
away from your presence, like
an exile alone
the weight of memory’s the
weight of your bones
as light as a flake of ash,
as easily blown
off with the lightest of puffs.
Outside, the curfew
is a beast poised to spring.
The hours are a dark spell.
The phone won’t stop
ringing. I tell them, I’m well.
This too will pass, right? How
quickly the day passes!
You’re memory of memory - your
teacup was still there
unwashed with the dregs. The
comb with your tangled hair.
Life’s just a banyan with
its roots probing the air.
That morning you drank tea.
Nightfall, you were ashes.
They ask how? and why? how
will I be? what will I do?
I tell them it’s okay. That
I’ll cope. Without you.
Hari OM
ReplyDeleteOf course you will cope - in your own way, in your own time... YAM xx
Yes, everyone does...thanks.
DeleteCope is such a powerful emotive word. Hanging in. Just. Doing (with a struggle) all that needs to be done.
ReplyDeleteOf course you are coping, but I am hoping that joy and beauty return.
There's some sort of spare beauty in acceptance. Though I'm finding it hard to locate any beauty or joy in the present situation. Hopefully, next year will be better.
Deleteit passes and yet lingers always - in memories, poems, a light breeze. And that's okay
ReplyDeleteAlways okay. The lingering is a blessing too.
DeleteSo very sad. Life is so short.
ReplyDeleteIndeed, and it ends without any preparation sometimes. Too abrupt.
DeleteYes to ending with no warning. Sometimes, though, the warning itself is as shocking as an abrupt end. All so hard and decades later I am still sometimes brought to tears by a piece of music, a photograph, a memory.
ReplyDeleteVery tough. Too much trauma for one lifetime. Hugs.
DeleteDear Nila - life does go on ... and in these days it can be stopped with a shudder ... no time at the time to be there properly ... then the memories - they will be there, they will morph as we adjust in the times afterwards. Today is just a cruel time ...just desperate without the warning. I feel for many at this time ... take care and with thoughts - Hilary
ReplyDeleteYes it is turning out to be horrible year for far too many people. You take care and be well.
DeleteI recently read "Living with Loss" by Cortez Ranieri. In the book she states that a person must take care of themselves, knowing that grief is completely natural and needed as a step in the healing process of loss. Also, there is no set time limit for mourning, the outward expression of grief. Nila, I wish you continued activity in projects that bring you happiness.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Gail. Self care is very important but is most often overlooked during the process of grieving. In the pandemic what with the isolation and all, there are no friends and family around either to take care of mourners. Really bleak times.
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