I write your name
in lamp flames andcard game winnings;
the moth-wing night
flaps, clings to light.
I still write you
in bright gold hues
in star-blue cues
into the dark.
The fire sparks flare
their marks above
I write love in
each rough moment,
each event, all
that’s sent is blessed.
It's Diwali in a couple days and this is my attempt to celebrate it in Than Bauk, a Burmese poetry form.
Shared at FormForAll @dVerse
great response to such a cool form. Love the images you used here, really very good piece. Thanks
ReplyDeleteCool form indeed. Thanks for the feedback..
Deletei write love in each rough moment....my fav part for sure and glad you have the strength to do that...because we will all have those rough moments for sure....i really like your opening three lines too...its creative and cool...lamp flames and card games....and there is the gamble in that too...
ReplyDeleteDiwali night is spent playing card games/gambling...the tradition said to have originated because goddess Parvati diced with her consort on this night :)glad you liked the poetry
DeleteA very clever and dexterous answer to the challenge -- and what a challenge! This is so accomplished.
ReplyDeleteThank you,fun writing, glad the results turned out pleasing
DeleteThis is just beautiful. I enjoyed the Diwali theme.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
Deletevery cool flow...and writing the name in all circumstances, really like this much
ReplyDeletethank you for reading
DeleteLovely words, so well done. May you have a fun and light-filled Dewali!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your wishes and for reading, happy festivals to you too!
DeleteThis flows and delights like the lantern lights on the water, magnificent. I would love to see Diwali - Lakshmi, Saraswati, and Ganesha sit atop my home altar.
ReplyDeleteSaraswati in your fingers too! She is the Patron of all poetry, music and art :)thanks for the feedback
Deletereally beautiful.
ReplyDelete"the moth-wing night
flaps, clings to light"... loved this!
Thank you
DeleteHave a happy Diwali. A rich festival. I was meant to go to Nepal once, but the trip fell through. This is such a rich poem - it's as though one were sitting in a sultan's tent watching a deep blue sky. Really gorgeous!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your wishes. Feels great to have the poem compared to a sultan's tent. A beautiful critique indeed, thank you!
Deleteyou really present such a lovely visual here. nicely done and with such a constricting form...kudos.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeleteI love and miss Diwali -- the little lamps and many picks of gorgeous Lakshmi and the celebration of Rama's return. Is this a poem to Rama?
ReplyDeleteNicely done -- tough form but you made it ring!
Since you enjoyed my method for writing this form, I thought you'd like to know that I have up-loaded the Excel file for others to try. Click here to see it!
Thank you for the critique and the link. Indeed I think your method mind blowing! I just did it all in my head tying my brain up in knots...excel is such a neat and simple way to solve the maze of forms!!
DeleteAnd no, this one is just a straight love poem, not a poem to Rama or any divine being...
Great write!
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteI loved the thought and theme, though don't know about the form!
ReplyDeleteThank you...I didn't know abt the form either before this and it's phenomenal!
Deleteeach event, all
ReplyDeletethat’s sent is blessed.//
undoubtedly it is!!
Do stop by my blog! I'd love your comments & visits!!
thank you for reading, much appreciate your comments..
DeleteA beautiful poem. Thanks for visiting my blog too.
ReplyDeleteEntirely a pleasure...thanks.
Delete