I keep thinking - I’ll write this
or that
about your lashes, the way your
knuckles fold;
how your voice sounds at the digital
chat.
But I don’t; all things
cannot be told
in neat verses, iamb by iamb, in slow
lines
of pentametric perfection, rolled
and wrapped snugly in straight/slanting
rhymes,
the syllable counts precisely
controlled,
rising and falling even as your breath;
but maybe it’s ragged now, maybe you
hold
your words and life back, their length
and breadth
concealed. Maybe you too have grown
old.
And that is all I get to write for
verse:
your lashes; and how our worlds diverge.
Experimental, Nila? Looks like you've mastered the love sonnet very well. So touching...'Maybe you too have grown old.' :-)
ReplyDeleteI don't have a clue about where the stresses fall! Don't sweat the stresses is the general motto, therefore - experimental. :-) Thanks for being here, Denise.
DeleteDo we not someday
ReplyDeletedisappear like mist
with the morning sun
Is age just a thought
or something we
can hold next to us
Is love seen within our
mind or by our hearts
where time is lost forever
your poem ask me
if I do not love you tomorrow
have I already stop loving you today
Another poem sending me into deep thought
Wow on that last stanza, desk49!
DeleteAre today and tomorrow a cycle or are they discrete? That is the question I guess.
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DeleteAfter my reply I was thinking.
DeleteYouth and old age are a fine thread apart
Yet to each the other is a long way away
And neither see themselves as either
Ya, inner age and outer age rarely coincide. Some age outside in, and others inside out.
DeleteFor some reason this discussion on age, just makes me feel old. ;)
ReplyDeleteOr is it just that I am - and you're right from the inside out. I am young of mind!
Doesn't matter, your poem is lovely - your writing exquisite!
Haha..you have to be young to get anywhere close to poetry, reading or writing...so not one of us here is old! QED :-)
DeleteAge is just a number, and matters only as much as we let it. Experience is what counts imo. And the more you experience, the more open you are, and the younger you get ;)
You have a distinct "poetry voice".
ReplyDeleteConversational, embracing, smooth and poignant... beautiful!
Thank you, Michelle! I've been targeting conversational for ages, so you totally made my day! :-)
Delete