Source |
This
post’s late because all day yesterday
I travelled between my homeland and home -
curried
cubed fish and three small golap
jaam
were
served for lunch in a neat airline tray;
though
deboned fish isn’t the Bengali way
it
was still festive, throwback to the drums
still
being played at the marquees. I heard them
at
30,000 ft somewhere near Bombay.
All
day yesterday I travelled between
being
a mother and a daughter, a parent
to
parents and child. On my in-flight screen
old Hindi films spooled out dramatic events,
a
three-hour ten-minute stopover meant
thinking
what 'mother' has now come to mean.
Flying certainly makes you feel in between.
ReplyDeleteParent means meany things, including a child parenting a parent.
It's taken me sometime to figure that one out...
DeleteHugs. That shift in definition can be confronting and scary.
ReplyDeleteIt's a bit disorienting. Hugs back.
DeleteYou're doing your best. Take comfort in this
ReplyDeleteI suppose...that's all one can do. Thanks for being here.
DeleteParenting parents is tough - been there, doing it :)
ReplyDeleteA shade more difficult than parenting a child :)
DeleteThanks Nila for the mention of the festive gulab jamun ... sorry you had to leave the day of the festival ... but I'm sure family life is similar. Parenting ... I have no children, but my mother remarked that I was now looking after her - it's a similar feat ... a precious task, an honour to be trusted by a parent who no longer can help herself ...
ReplyDeleteThank goodness your husband and children can release you for a period - distance is so difficult ... but you are doing what you can in the circumstances - and that's the way it is ... adjusting is everything ... exhausting and disorienting as you mention ...
With many thoughts and blessings for both families - Hilary
Thank you Hilary for your kind thoughts and blessings, much needed..it is indeed a precious task though a bit difficult to manage at a remove of a few thousand miles...clones would be super helpful!
DeleteI'm sure you're more than capable to handle the task at hand.
ReplyDeleteI hope I am...
DeleteI understand. I just flew back to TX from PA - visited/cared for my Dad. He's become a bit of a petulant child. Your poem resonated with me.
ReplyDeleteMy best wishes and thoughts for your Dad and yourself. Glad you liked the poem.
DeleteParenting our parents is hard work in every sense. And then the wheel will keep turning and before we know it, our children will be parenting us.
ReplyDeleteYup, so they will...but the children parenting us is a scary thought right now :)
DeleteI love travel, but I love being home too. It's so nice being able to return to normal and the routine after the insanity of life.
ReplyDeleteI love travel too, but not for sickness...prefer travelling when everyone around is hale and hearty generally...thanks for stopping by!
DeleteHello Nila. I've caught up with this and your previous post from India now. I'm not sure what you mean by the change in your relations with your mother... It's a poignant time when parents aren't well. Both of mine have passed, sadly, but they're still with me in spirit every day.
ReplyDeleteBless...
Denise :-)
Thanks, Denise. My mother and I have been 'mothering' each other for many years now. Started in my twenties when she was diagnosed with cancer, though didn't exactly figure it out then :)
DeleteIt's beyond stressful when a parent is ill, and distance compounds the helplessness. Happy to say my mum is now back home and recovering..