Tuesday, 11 October 2016

In Between




Source




This post’s late because all day yesterday
I travelled between my homeland and home -
curried cubed fish and three small golap jaam
were served for lunch in a neat airline tray;
though deboned fish isn’t the Bengali way
it was still festive, throwback to the drums
still being played at the marquees. I heard them
at 30,000 ft somewhere near Bombay.


All day yesterday I travelled between
being a mother and a daughter, a parent
to parents and child. On my in-flight screen
old Hindi films spooled out dramatic events,
a three-hour ten-minute stopover meant
thinking what 'mother' has now come to mean.








20 comments:

  1. Flying certainly makes you feel in between.
    Parent means meany things, including a child parenting a parent.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's taken me sometime to figure that one out...

      Delete
  2. Hugs. That shift in definition can be confronting and scary.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You're doing your best. Take comfort in this

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I suppose...that's all one can do. Thanks for being here.

      Delete
  4. Parenting parents is tough - been there, doing it :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A shade more difficult than parenting a child :)

      Delete
  5. Thanks Nila for the mention of the festive gulab jamun ... sorry you had to leave the day of the festival ... but I'm sure family life is similar. Parenting ... I have no children, but my mother remarked that I was now looking after her - it's a similar feat ... a precious task, an honour to be trusted by a parent who no longer can help herself ...

    Thank goodness your husband and children can release you for a period - distance is so difficult ... but you are doing what you can in the circumstances - and that's the way it is ... adjusting is everything ... exhausting and disorienting as you mention ...

    With many thoughts and blessings for both families - Hilary

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Hilary for your kind thoughts and blessings, much needed..it is indeed a precious task though a bit difficult to manage at a remove of a few thousand miles...clones would be super helpful!

      Delete
  6. I'm sure you're more than capable to handle the task at hand.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I understand. I just flew back to TX from PA - visited/cared for my Dad. He's become a bit of a petulant child. Your poem resonated with me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My best wishes and thoughts for your Dad and yourself. Glad you liked the poem.

      Delete
  8. Parenting our parents is hard work in every sense. And then the wheel will keep turning and before we know it, our children will be parenting us.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yup, so they will...but the children parenting us is a scary thought right now :)

      Delete
  9. I love travel, but I love being home too. It's so nice being able to return to normal and the routine after the insanity of life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love travel too, but not for sickness...prefer travelling when everyone around is hale and hearty generally...thanks for stopping by!

      Delete
  10. Hello Nila. I've caught up with this and your previous post from India now. I'm not sure what you mean by the change in your relations with your mother... It's a poignant time when parents aren't well. Both of mine have passed, sadly, but they're still with me in spirit every day.

    Bless...

    Denise :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Denise. My mother and I have been 'mothering' each other for many years now. Started in my twenties when she was diagnosed with cancer, though didn't exactly figure it out then :)

      It's beyond stressful when a parent is ill, and distance compounds the helplessness. Happy to say my mum is now back home and recovering..

      Delete

Nonymous comments prized more than rubies :) Anonymous comments shall be deleted as soon as spotted. Just so you know.