I will follow you where no one else will -
till the far bank. Till the automatic doors
click shut. Till the long
train pulls out. And till
the last ocean reaches its farthest shore.
From these rooms to the routes by land and air,
on the road and off-road and by the hill,
at rest within walls, or restless, I’ll be there
wherever you choose to stop or travel.
When the light dazzles, or the darkness blinds
and the world offers a shoulder that’s cold,
the ground gets boggy or you suddenly find
the cliffs won’t let you get even a toehold,
when the earth and sky feel like a cosmic sneer
reach out for me and I’ll be there, my dear.
So, I am back in couch-potato mode, newly empty nester-ed and somewhat ill at ease with this whole caper. The offspring is now a few thousand miles away, I'm a few thousand years older, not a look that suits me, I'm sure. My heart is bursting with a deadly strange mixture of pride and fear, and also beating in all the wrong places...
The alarm clocks have been turned off, the school routines binned, but...I'm still waking up at crack of dawn every weekday, uber frustrating! The sleeping in till I drop off (the bed) plans will have to take a backseat for now...while I get my coping mechanism sorted...lots of hyperventilating coupled with beverages of caffeinated and alcoholic kinds should do the trick...and of course, poetry, the panacea for all milestones and malaise!
Heartfelt hugs and oceans of caring are flowing your way.
ReplyDeleteLove, pride and fear so often travel together, and I love your poem which conveys all three.
Thank you! Hugs back.
DeleteHari OM
ReplyDeleteWhile I have never been a mother, I have been close to many who are and definitely a proud aunty, so can appreciate something of your feelings. I too send hugs and love for your transitional stage from one stage of the 'hood to another! YAM xx
My aunts have had a major role in bringing me up. You don't need to carry a child to 'mother' it, proud aunts do as much mothering as any of us biological mums. Love and hugs back!
DeleteIt's a huge disruption in your routine and your feelings. But as Yamini said, it's a transition to a new phase in your life.
ReplyDeleteYa, a life event for sure...and one transition I don't quite know how to navigate with sanity intact :)
Deletestick with the love and fear and pride. You are a success as your bird flies from the nest...but will return with laundry, stories, and a hug. Hey, you have us too - blog world will listen and offer a virtual cup of tea. Take care and keep writing these perfect poems for the moment. You write what so many of us feel and have felt.
ReplyDeleteOh, the blogworld and that virtual cup of tea are a monumental solace. Thank you for the words of support and comfort!
DeleteThis is a stage every parent reaches. So have I too.
ReplyDeleteI see it as another stage in the progression, another stage in the evolution.
Transitions aren't easy. They are painful too.
They become bearable once we realize and accept the inevitability of the progression and evolution.
True. And each one must navigate the change individually, though it always helps to know about others ahead on the learning curve. Thank you for sharing your insights here.
Delete