Monday 16 May 2022

Measures

 



Sometimes I forget the year but recall

the exact hour when I opened the mail,

the dark grain of wood under the laptop,

my stricken eyes in the mirror on the wall,

the azaan from the mosque a plaintive wail

and shards of light like a stained glass backdrop

 

to the news, remembered in clear detail

precise and accurate, not one thing wrong

except that count of years. Randomly fourteen,

but often correct - sometimes the fingers fail

to stack up the total, it’s been so long

that they forget what years and numbers mean.

 

Years and numbers. Anyway quite useless

as a measure of grief. Or of happiness.




The last week had one 13th death anniversary, the 21st birthday of my son and also the 21st wedding anniversary of a couple, one of whom died one year ago. And of course, Mother's Day was the Sunday before. Which celebration is never the same once your own mother has passed and/or your child has left home and is resident of a different country made further inaccessible by the pandemic. But we managed to celebrate the milestone birthday with videocalls and cake delivery. Thank heavens for technology! And thank heavens that US doesn't have a system of OTPs like India!






19 comments:

  1. I don't even know what OTP's are... Can you enlighten me?

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    1. You're so lucky that you don't!! :)

      OTP means One Time Password/PIN.

      In India, because of the high card frauds, every time a card is used online your bank will send you a timebound OTP without which you cannot conclude the transaction. It's an added level of security (and I'm super thankful for it, because I know people who've lost serious money to fraudsters). It does make life complicated though, especially when network glitches prevent the OTP from getting through, which happens often enough. Also, Indian banks will not send OTPs to international numbers, so you have to have a local Indian cell phone to receive the PIN.

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    2. Oh, *that* OTP... I've used that for years. It's a pain in the backside, but a good guard against fraud, as you say. In some cases, the company sends a text or email, in others, you have to have an authenticator that generates 6- or 8-digit numbers and type in the correct number. The eventual idea is to get rid of passwords, because most people pick really lousy passwords. I think it's a good idea, as much of a pain as it is...

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    3. Oh dear, disappointed to hear that US has OTPs too! I've never come across one yet buying stuff online there. Whereas in India you can't buy a toothpick online w/o an OTP...I always thought it was because India is a poorer, and therefore, more crime prone nation...

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  2. This week we had 2 grandkids birthdays, 3 grandkids graduations and now a bit of a break before the next crunch.
    Life piles up sometimes

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    1. Doesn't it just?! Congrats to the grandkids for their graduations! Glad you clarified the name.

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  3. Life presents us very strange combinations, sometimes homogenous, sometimes immiscible. We just need to accept them all, and move on.
    Though we generally condemn technology for making us lazy, and for all the commonplace social ills, during the pandemic technology did make our lives a lot easier.
    (My latest post: Online games and the idea of beauty)

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    1. I know it is the accepted thing to blame everything bad on social media and the internet, and I realise that there is indeed a gruesome dark side to it. But even so, the benefits far outweigh the negatives imo.

      I am thankful for the real time connections that technology allows me as a mother to make with my child thousands of miles away. My parents did not have the same facility when I was a college student and I shudder to think of their stress as we all got to grips with split continent living in the 80s. Not a cakewalk to put it mildly.

      Thank you for the visit and the thoughtful comment.

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  4. A very mixed week. A bit like life.
    And hooray for the technology which allows us to stay in touch across a myriad of miles.

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    1. Yep, I'm saying hooray for technology several times a week, if not everyday!

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  5. Hari OM
    Without the tech we have, I would have a totally solitary life, for I remain in isolation against COVID; it may have dropped from the headlines but is still very much present! OTPs are starting to make themselves felt here in the UK. As you say earlier, it is a necessary security these days, but can be a fluster at times.

    Just a quick referral to your response to my own post today... the 'menoculayshunal' series is my memoir of time at Sandeepany, which took place between 2011-2013... I think you may have thought it was current! I have been writing that series for over a year and it has its own page with all the posts bookmarked in order... YAM xx

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    1. Oops, my bad! But so glad that the sorting and shifting are done and dusted... :)
      I think I've managed to survive the last two years without a nervous breakdown only because of technology. And I know many people like me. I cannot say enough good things!

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  6. Sorry for the sad milestones. Sounds like OTPs can be a hassle. Some things use them here.

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    1. OTPs are a necessary evil... but saddened to hear that even US has them whaaaa!

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  7. Dates - with my father he measures things by the cars he owned. And truly - old pics have me plopped in front of the cars. He was not taking photos of me, but of his precious vehicles. And they were cool. I'm guilty now of measuring everything by when we moved to our current house. There's always some marker that makes the most sense. Your poem is so perfect - your writing just never ceases to put me in awe.
    Take care!

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    1. Cars are a great measure! I love the old cars, such oomph even in the most mainstream plain models.

      Houses are good too. But that doesn't work if one's moved around too much... :) Glad you enjoyed the poem. Have a great week.

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  8. Hi Nila - yes sometimes years, sometimes the year I was in this country, then moved London, Cornwall, or moved to South Africa, or Canada - but not having kids ... I don't move with motherhood as many do. At the moment I've been in February - not sure why, and is it May - life is very vague date and time wise - and generally just remembering what's coming up in very vague directions!! I would say - not like me ... perhaps it's the covid time ... I didn't have worries, but each day came and when - the sun rose, and went round and back again. Wonderful way to express measures ... thank you - all the best to you in another place of life ... now to remember what I'm doing today!! cheers Hilary

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    1. Happens to me quite often too. Misplacing a few months in between or skipping a couple days. Hope you've remembered your schedule for the day :) Take care.

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