Warmest
birthday wishes to the creators of RFW, Denise Covey and Donna Hole. It’s time for the fun RFW Challenge, and this
time it celebrates the joint October birthdays of the hosts.
The
fortnightly challenge at RFW is held every alternate Friday. Membership is not
mandatory for participation, so if you like writing, then do go over and see if
you want to give it a try. Go over
anyway, because there are some amazing stories and poems linked there, and
reading them always gives the day a little lift.
Here
is my entry for the challenge:
The
reams of formalities, the microbial security scanning, all the endless paraphernalia
over finally, Tony walks briskly into the departure lounge. It is already filling up with waiting
passengers, empty seats are few. It hits
him again with fresh force, he really is on his way to meet Larissa! This journey is a first for him in many ways.
He
finds a seat and then texts her, “On my way!”
She
instantly replies, ”Can’t wait!”
He
is amazed by this coincidence too, she awake across the vast distance that
separates them, at precisely this hour. He
wonders how time plays out where she is.
The
trip has come about randomly. He has
never been into social networking. It
was meant to be a light-hearted lark, he got into cPlanext solely to enter the
contest, never thinking that he’ll actually win it. He’d send off his answers; maybe make some
new contacts; try this virtual social platform that’s become the rage. That’s it.
But
it so happened that was not it. He sent
off the quiz and forgot it. And then he
got a request from Larissa. From the
first, he felt such a deep sense of connection.
Which he later learnt was mutual.
She
put it in her usual quaint way, “Like a clamshell finding its other half
finally!”
She
always makes an effort to communicate in ways he can relate, in terms taken
from his own seaside milieu. Unlike him, she has travelled widely, even been to
his part of the planet.
She
was the first person he spoke to when he learnt he’d won. One unrestricted return trip, anywhere,
within the year 3024.
She’d
responded joyously, ”Come for my birthday.
It will be a grand celebration, the best gift. Please, please come.”
So
here he is, a little nervous yet heady, indulging in a bit of birthday madness. He’s made the gift himself, each glass bead swirled
with a different colour at its centre, seventeen beads for the seventeen known
planets, threaded into a sparkling bracelet.
He feels a little anxious now thinking of it. Glass making is not a hobby she is likely familiar
with, glass itself has died out centuries ago, he’s among the few trying to revive
an ancient artform.
The
PA system crackles,”Flight AS 9061 to Mars is now ready for
boarding. Passengers are requested....”
He
walks out eagerly to the spacebridge.
WC-399
FCA
FCA
Hey Nilanjana,
ReplyDeletePlease visit my Blog,
http://ramya-chitrana.blogspot.in/2012/10/time-to-celebrate.html
And you are the best :D
Hi Ramya, and thank you! You are too sweet! :) thank you too for including me in the celebration ...beyond words!
DeleteOh wow! out of the space romance. Totally loved it! Came over from Ramya's and loving your blog already :-) :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jenny...glad you liked the post and the blog... good to have you here :-)
DeleteLove the space travel aspect. The first meeting, the unknown. So many places you can go with this. Would love to read more!
ReplyDeleteWonderful! I'd say awesome, but I'm trying to drop it from my vocabulary. :)
Thank you...it is a leap into the unknown...for me and Tony both :) and ditto on trying to drop awesome but not as controlled as you...well done :)
DeleteHi Nilanjana
ReplyDeleteIn shut a short amount of words we learn so much about your hero. He is a glass artist, unfamiliar with the current technology, on his way to Mars for a blind date. Your writing was well crafted. I want more.
Nancy
Hi Nancy
DeleteThank you for the feedback. Glad you liked the story...let's see if it can be fleshed out some more...
Hello Nilanjana
ReplyDeleteI think this is our first space opera sci-fi story for RFW. How exciting. I was thrilled with this take on the theme. So clever. Imagine boarding a craft heading to Mars to meet an unknown. Great premise. The glass artist aspect added another intriguing layer.
Hello Denise,
DeleteIt is my first space story too. Thank you for being here and the feedback.
A sci-fi with a romantic twist. And what else could anyone ask for! You took us on an amazing trip :D
ReplyDeleteThank you for coming along on the trip :) so glad of your company!
DeleteThis took me quite by surprise. A nice change from the usual romantic stories we read. Nice!
ReplyDeleteThank you...glad you liked the change
DeleteWhat a fun twist. I like the thought of a intergalactic romance. Well done Nilanjana.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Michael. Glad you liked it...much appreciate your feedback
DeleteYou certainly captured our imaginations, Nilanjana. Now I wonder what lies in wait for him and can only hope it matches his dreams and more. Though I do suspect it won't be without a few bumps along the way:)
ReplyDeleteIndeed, no bumps, no stories :) Thanks for being here, Adura
DeleteWonderful to have sci-fi, romance, lost arts, space travel, loved it!
ReplyDeleteThank you, glad you enjoyed it.
DeleteSci-fi romance, my favourite. I loved the touch of mystery about her immediate reply to his text. So what happens when they meet? I have written a sci-fi story set in an airport also, what it is about airports?
ReplyDeleteAirports are great for people-watching and squirrelling away kernels of possible stories. Thanks for the feedback.
DeleteDear Nilanjana,
ReplyDeleteFirst, thank you for reading my entire Jenny-story!
And now to your post for RFW! I agree with the previous commenters - it is great fun that you have written about an intergalactic BLIND DATE !!!
Cool that he is a glass-artist and that glass has become a thing of the past!
Your text is so well-crafted. It is only when I read the year 3024, that I suspected that this would be a space romance. So cleverly revealed!
Good job!
Best wishes,
Anna
For the benefit of other readers: RFW No. 46 - 'Birthday Madness'
Hi Anna,
DeleteMost of the flashes are stand alone, but reading the whole back story(ies) and getting to know the characters in-depth just doubles the enjoyment.
Thank you for the detailed feedback, much valued! I would have liked to have revealed the year even later, at the end, but couldn't find a way to do that without it sounding a little stilted. Glad to know it doesn't spoil the fun.
Warmest,
Nilanjana.
What an intriguing concept; inter-galactic social networking. This was a well built world, and an intriguing character with a special gift to give. A concise and effective scene, with lots of story and romantic potential, or to leave as a complete flash.
ReplyDeleteThanks for participating in the Birthday Madness.
......dhole
Thank you for the encouraging words, and it is entirely a pleasure to be part of RFW and the challenges.
Delete