The loudest and largest key
represents only a tiny blanka pindroplet of silence between
words, I noticed that of course
but that’s not what I wanted to write
I wanted to look up at the sky
and write the words floating up
on double-felixed balloons to the edge
and brought to your attention
sky-word self-azured bleautiful, less shrill
than electrisse and turquoid
much more tranquil than cobolt
Don’t you look at my nails
which could turn nymphatic half-moonsat any given moment,
but I use them badly, hammering
at small black keys which sometimes
opens locks and at others clicks them closed
I thought when you incise
my skin there’d be words and little blanks flowing out
in some dashed Morseful code
rising to the occasional edge
scrabbling tiles of ivory yinyang
but you showed me that,
pffft stupid, it’s only blood
and after it's stopped
a small cheeky tongue,
a see-through ooze of sline;
and that too is fine.
Shared with poets on OpenLinkNight @ dVerse
some really cool touches in this....the writing words in double helix...creation...and the nymphatic half moons of the nails....actually that is hot....ha...the words and code pouring out of the expectation...that is so cool as well...intriguing piece...
ReplyDeletewhat's there in the head is balloons floating up...what comes out is squiggly black marks stuck on a screen :) thanks for reading
DeleteOoh - very sad really - the cuts not giving rise to revelation - agree with Brian - intriguing and very poignant. k.
ReplyDeletehopefully one day they will....thanks for your views
DeleteI like the intricate details specially the colors of the first stanza ~ Someone's perception of things like a cut, can be different from ours, but hopefully it doesn't stop our imagination, even our muse ~
ReplyDeletethat's so true...each has a different perception of the same reality..thanks for your feedback
DeleteLove this...I wanted to look up at the sky
ReplyDeleteand write the words floating up
on double-felixed balloons to the edge
thank you
Deletevery intriguing, and sad at the end, when that reality sinks in, but also that tiny bit of hope as well.
ReplyDeletealways a bit of hope somewhere....thank you for the feedback
DeleteI wanted to look up at the sky
ReplyDeleteand write the words floating up
on double-felixed balloons to the edge...so cool..intriguing images in this..
thanks for reading...glad you liked it
DeleteI liked the idea that if i were cut, I'd bleed words, and that sometimes the keys unlock doors, and sometimes close them. I understand this, and feel that way sometimes when I sit at my computer and hope creativity flows.
ReplyDelete........dhole
can only hope they unlock more doors than they click shut...thanks for the critique...much valued
DeleteI love the creative way you play with your words in this, giving them new shapes and meanings. Especially liked the lines about your nails and the keys--though the opening is really some beautiful stuff also.
ReplyDeletethank you for coming by....writer's nails! :) glad you liked it..
DeleteFantastic word play and outstanding imagery, it has bite and appeal!
ReplyDeletethank you!
DeleteI loved the poetic form you gave to this feeling of cuts and wounds ... very well done !!!
ReplyDeleteThank you! feedback much valued..glad you enjoyed the poetry!
DeleteAh!!!!
ReplyDeleteLike a summer shower of prose.
Refreshing.
It's good to see you here, John. Many thanks for the encouraging words..very poetic comment, if I may say so ;-)enjoyed your choice of words, as always
DeleteNilanjana,
ReplyDeleteI love the word play and went for a double read. There is more to explore than meets the eye :)
Thank you, Ghazala! always more to explore...and I don't mean this poem :)
Delete