Friday, 29 April 2016

Y is for Yuri


is for Yuri



Yuri’s space trip

There was a famous spaceman called Yuri
who preferred his chickens à la tandoori
he went into the rocket
with some drumsticks in his pocket
and said, “these’ll do till Moon, even Mercury.”

His bosses said, “We don’t care a whit
how far you carry or how indeed you take it,
the protein’s okay high,
for beyond our deep blue sky
the problem, quite frankly, is how you shit.”

Have you ever wondered, given it some thought
how zero g affects pooing astronauts?
A different level of aim
is the name of the space poo game,
on no account must shit escape and float.


Please note that the above is wholly a product of the imagination and any resemblance to people or events are purely coincidental etc etc. 

The real Yuri’s flight lasted less than two hours and therefore shit and pee weren’t a burning issue.  However, the story goes that as he went to the launch, he apparently asked for a pee-stop and relieved himself on the back right-hand tyre of the bus that was taking him to the launchpad, which subsequently evolved into a ritual of epic proportions.  Astronauts follow it even today.  

Is it just me or does it strike you as well? how Yuri sounds like a truncated version of pee, and if this whole pee-stop thingy is somehow connected?  No? Okay, it's just me then.  Never mind.




Posted for the A-Z Challenge 2016 



54 comments:

  1. Y is for you
    Can you think of anything more marvelous?
    Enjoyed this. Thank you for sharing.

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    1. Yes, I can :) Yes, Yeah, Ya all more marvellous than You. And Yay! as well. But You is also not bad :)

      Thanks so much for your support throughout.

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  2. Yuri is pretty close to urinate. Is that fiction too about peeing on the tire? I could so see men doing that if you judge by the ritual that surround sports and playoff games. . .I love your light-hearted poetry and btw when I visited NASA, they showed us special toilets that are used on the space station. Going to the bathroom without gravity creates the need for a different skill set.

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    1. Nope, that's factual. If BBC is to be trusted. Not that I trust any media conglomerate an inch :)

      My then five year old once asked me whether spacefolk had to remove their suits to use the loo, and I was completely at a loss, realised I knew absolutely zilch about the subject. Had to read up and do some oddly flustered research before I could come up with an answer. :D Out of the mouth of babes!

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  3. And I thought actors' rituals were weird! *lol*

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  4. Thanks shortybear and Donna McDine pleased you enjoyed it

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  5. I absolutely did not know about this pissing ritual... If the scientists going off into space are this superstitious, where does that leave the rest of us? *Sigh*... Great post, though. Had me giggling from the start :)
    Guilie @ Life In Dogs

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    1. That leaves us lesser scientific mortals in the land of lucky charms and four leaf clover and horseshoes over doors etc etc ...funny to think of such sharply honed minds having space for silly superstitions isn't it? :)

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  6. So weird, and yet we've all thought about it, just read it to my son, we had a good laugh. Guilie is right though about the superstition. I also chose Yurij - well after Yolanda for Y! :)

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    1. No one ever talked about it though :D the first mention I ever heard was when a toilet on the ISS malfunctioned and parts and 'plumbers' had to be sent up and it got in the news :)

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  7. Hmmm - I'm sure they've figured out some way to poo. I recently saw an article about how women astronauts deal with their periods while in space. Didn't know about this tradition of wetting the wheel. Quite an interesting one I must say.

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    1. The women follow it too apparently - bring vials of piss to splash on the wheel...according to my ahem, sources

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  8. Thank you for yet another amazing piece, Nila. I smiled at the name Yuri. I recently watched the movie 2012 and the big bear of a Russian businessman is called Yuri :)

    I've thoroughly enjoyed all of your posts throughout April, Nilajana. Thank you so much for all the beautiful words you've shared with us.

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    1. Thank you for your support and cheering me on Nicola A-Z wouldn't be half as much fun without it.

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  9. Hmmm. Interesting. Visiting from the A2Z Challenge, glad I stopped by! You will find my poetry here: ipsitabanerjee.wordpress.com

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    1. Will be over to yours shortly Ipshita, thanks for leaving the link

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  10. Yuri was a brave man to be the first - even if he did not need to urinate or poo. Perhaps her had a built in poo-bag!

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    1. Eww. :)

      Certainly the real Yuri was a brave man indeed, a trailblazer...the first to go out and come back when nothing was known about what effects space travel would actually have on human bodies..

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  11. Seriously pee-ritual for astronauts? This was illuminating! Not very different from canines are they? Hehehe, a good one again :)
    @KalaRavi16 from
    Relax-N-Rave

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    1. No, it's kind of mind boggling to realise that they are at some level similar to us even :) believing peeing on a wheel will make sure they come back safe

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  12. I'm seriously in awe. This is so cool. I loved this. Its hilarious. Thankyou so much for the entertainment. So glad to have found your blog in this challenge .:D
    Seena
    #AtoZChallenge - Y is for Yoga

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    1. That's great you enjoyed it...the A-Z is a departure from the ordinary ahem everyday rituals of this blog...thanks for being here through out..much value the support!

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  13. Yuri Gagarin, yes! Remembered him. Since he was the first man to orbit the earth everything was new to him including the shitty business.

    Hank

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    1. Yup, that's him...the one who peed...my Yuri is of course fictional, no resemblance whatsoever :) ..have no clue whether Gagarin liked tandoori food at all

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  14. I love how your mind thinks. This has been the most creative blog I've encountered. TGIF. ( now I need a bathroom break)

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  15. They pee on the tires. I didn't need to know that. Hopefully they aren't taking chicken with them into space though. At least not in their pockets.

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    1. Nope, that's the fictional Yuri...the real ones get only reconstituted birds...

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    1. Thanks, we all need the light relief...no pun intended and none taken I hope :)

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  17. This blog challenge has been so enlightening. I now know stuff I had no idea of before... um, for good or for ill.

    Thanks.
    @Kathleen01930
    Meet My Imaginary Friends
    #AtoZchallenge

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    1. I am going to get all serious now and say that I agree 100% - A-Z's always broaden my understanding of so many varied things/topics I otherwise would never have known...thanks for your support through out.

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  18. I had no idea astronauts were this superstitious. They sound worse than baseball players.

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    1. Neither did i before I wrote this post :)

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  19. I LOVE this post!! Which probably says more about me than I should admit in public.

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    1. Then imagine what it says about me! Oh dear, I think I have permanently ruined my reputation as a whingey, sensitive delicate-heart

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  20. Loved, "drumsticks in his pockets." Interesting to learn about the superstitions.

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    1. Hard to imagine isn't it that astronauts are this superstitious?

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  21. Hey you got me thinking. No shit stops in space. Thaqnk god not too many people visit the space. it would be such a crappy place otherwise. May be time for a Swachch space Abhiyan.

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    1. Funny!! Swachch space abhiyan hahaha!

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  22. For me that was your best so far! What that says about me I'm not sure, but thanks for the chuckle.

    My A-Z story features 5 neglected Y words

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    1. I am now seriously worried about what it's said about me *wrings hands*

      Thanks for being here!

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  23. This is hysterical! Thanks for the great laugh!

    Cheers - Ellen

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  24. They should just wear adult nappies...problem solved! LOL

    You are a winner!
    Swing by my blog to see what book you've won!
    Writer In Transit

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    1. That's so cool!

      Btw, they actually do wear nappies nowadays. But still have the suit technicians unzip the layers and go through that ritual :)

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  25. Hi Nila - I'm sure we could find out ... particularly in the modern versions of going to space - how can they run a marathon in space -by being strapped down ... not something I wish to think about now ... cheers Hilary

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    1. Things have changed vastly from Gagarin's time, but the ritual can't be shifted apparently :)

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  26. Ha, ha! Great poem on a topic that is seriously under-represented in the annals of modern poetry - or should that be anals?

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  27. Clever and hilarious! Interesting basis for the poem, too.
    On the Summer Road Trip - Barbara, blogging at Life & Faith in Caneyhead

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