The Second Attack

I get these attacks sometimes, the first time it happened was fairly scary - you can read about that here.  I have not studied Hindi beyond grade 2, so the less said about my sense of grammar the better, especially my knowledge of the genderised nouns/verbs/adjective agreement.  However, the voice inside my head cares nothing for grammar or any rules, or my diffidence, it nags incessantly till I get fed up and paste things into a screen.  

The precursor for this attack is a poem - ahista chal zindagi (walk slowly, Life..) it's been making the rounds on FB recently and was on my feed several times. And this is my response, the counterpoint, loosely in the format of a ghazal which came less formed than the previous one, but still enough to unnerve me :)

Arz kiya hai....

ए ज़िन्दगी ज़रा तेज़ चल अब यहाँ और ठहरना क्या?
करवट बदलते बेचैन पल, इनके खाली हाथ, और करना क्या?

जहाँ सोचा था बसेरा है, दिन निकला, तो लगा अंजाना सा,
अपनों की पहचान खूब हुई,और ग़ैरों से बिछड़ना क्या?

तू लाख जतन  कर ले पर दर्द मिटता नहीं, ज़ख्म भरते नहीं
कंकर पत्थर ठोकरों से बस इन घावों को भरना क्या?

दिन चार, लेकिन ग़म हज़ार, इन हज़ार ग़मों के मेले में
टूटे हुए रिश्तों  के टुकड़ो पर पिछड़ना क्या, बढ़ना क्या?

सुनसान कूचें में दामन थामा, दाग लगा तो झटक दिया,
वह दाग ही कब दामन बना, अब इसे पकड़ना क्या?

तेरी हर मीड़ से वाक़िफ़ हुए, तेरी हर राह का धुंधलापन,
क़दम बड़ा किसी और ओर, इस राह से फिर गुज़रना क्या?

यह तू ने कैसी बात छेड़ दी के अपनी रफ़्तार से चलना है
एक तू ही है बाक़ी रिश्तों में तुझ से लड़ना झगड़ना क्या?

ऐसे भी कई लोग थे कभी जिनके दिल में शामिल दिल यह था,
न वहां न यहाँ धड़कता है, तो जीना क्या और मरना क्या?

कुछ वक़्त गवां दीया  तू ने भी और कुछ मुझ से भी ज़ाया हुआ,
पर कह लीया जो कुछ कहना था अब आगे शेर और पड़ना क्या?

ए ज़िन्दगी ज़रा तेज़ चल....

Hey Life, do hurry a bit, what’s with all this meandering

these restless, empty-handed moments, what’s left for them to do here?

Where I thought I’d found a foothold, looked alien when the sun came up

I’ve figured very well who’re my own, and what’s a parting between strangers?

You can try a million time, but there’s no cure for grief, wounds never heal

now how to stitch them up with sticks and stones and the aloofness of the world?

The days are numbered four, but woes a thousand, in this revelry of grief

and snapped ties strewn all around, where to move on and what’s retreat?

In a deserted lane you clasped my shirtfront, when it got streaked you let it go,

the streaks morphed to life itself, now what to grasp and what to leave?

I got acquainted with each of your tunes, the fogginess of each of your lanes

let’s try someplace else now, why trudge along these weary roads again?

What’s this idea that you’ve got, that you alone must set the pace

the only tie I have left is you, then why this conflict between us?

There were some people once in whose heart this heart was nestled

neither there nor here it beats now, what’s the difference between life and death?

Some time you too have wasted, some were frittered away by me

but still I've said what was on my mind, do I need to read more of this poem?

Hey Life, do hurry a bit...